And the smackdown a-cometh!

Do you ever just feel like God has just decided to take his loving stream that seems to flow all around you, rushing at speeds of hundreds of miles an hour, and let it just drop to a trickle sometimes? Man, this has been one of those days. God just shut off that stream like he had finished his shower for the morning and turned that water right off.

Now,  this is all an analogy and I know God doesn’t work like that, but it sure feels like it sometimes.

I really thought the day I had today would have happened yesterday. It began with me arriving to work at 6:30 am and as I’m driving through the security gate at Redstone – it hits me – my computer is sitting in my upstairs ROLL TIDE room and not in the backseat of my car!!!!! ARGHH!!!!! What to do, what do to? Oh Susan isn’t coming in until late today, so I can use her comp for a little while. OH YES, Lawrence took today off, so I’ll just use his computer all day! YAY!! Now, I don’t have to drive 45 min back to Decatur to get my laptop. And the thought even crossed my mind, “If this is how it’s starting out – it will only get worse.”

I couldn’t leave. There were too many critical things that had to be done. So, I was sooooo busy that I did not even have time to think about what had happened that morning. Instead I was a robot for 9 hours and it felt good at the end of the day to look back at my work and think – it’s good!

So, I slept in a little later today b/c I have been riding the overtime bus for the past few weeks due to last minute HQ actions. Well, we’re done. So, I got out of the bed at 6, took a shower, didn’t dry my hair, put on my makeup and clothes and shot off to the Arsenal. Since I left later, I got caught in all kinds of traffic snafus. I walked into my office at 7:45 and knew this day would be different – good or bad.

It began with my usual ritual of checking my aol mail, facebook and myspace. I have to get that out of the way so I can go on with my day and be productive. While I’m checking my myspace, I thought I’d tap into Todd’s and see what he has been doing – I should not have done that. Needless to say the straw on the camel’s back broke so fast you would have marveled at the sight. So, now it was time. Give him the call, tell him it’s gone too far and you’re done. That’s what I did. Then I hung up the phone and weeped like a child for about 5 min. Ok, that’s done – check!

Time to really get the day started. Start running reports and analyzing numbers here and there, email dings are going off left and right (ok, this is good.I’m busy. I’m distracted.)  Then I look up and see an email from my program manager entitled Working Relationships. He’s new at being a manager and I thought this was just another one of his helpful emails on Working Relationships – WRONG! Apparently I have 3 girls in a different organization, but we are all DF contractors, that cannot stand me. The first i hear from this is from my program manager, who by the way, is NOT their program manager. So, he doesn’t have a clue about what they are talking about and to be honest, neither do I. No one can give me examples of my behavior or instances that have led them all to hate me. (This is where working with women, sucks!) So, now we have to have this meeting where they will pretty much gang up on me and bash me about several “instances” they have had to “deal” with me – yet I’m completely unaware of any of them. I could keep going, but I won’t. I was taking off of work Friday to prepare for a yard sale I’m having with my mom & sister, but I now have to truck it over to H’ville on Friday to meet with these, people.

So, me breaking up with Todd asking him to come and get his stuff and getting an email letting me know that an organization is about to revolt on me all happened within 30 min of each other. Then my NASA manager sees me crying and he’s mad that they have handled the situation this way and now he wants to call someone. I just had to have everyone STOP. This is my deal and I’m going to defend myself, apologize if needed, acknowledge changes that can be made – on both parts, and walk out of that meeting a better person than I was when I walked in.

It’s going to take a whole heap of praying and faith – but I know the best person for that job! HE can handle it, so I’m going to let him.

So, this is  what’s going on in my life. I really struggle with what to write about sometimes. Sometimes I think it might be too personal, then other times, I just have to have the outlet.

Thanks for “listening”. Keep me in your prayers. Roll Tide